National Marriage Week - An Engagement Love Story

I hope you and your spouse have been able to reconnect or gain a new perspective during National Marriage Week 2012. I hope you have had time to read the Ebook " Stay Connected" located on the resource page, have had time for that date night, as well as written your Love letter. Each of these things seem small, but each small step help create a better understanding of how to create or maintain "A Loving Lasting Marriage".

 Our Last Love Story for National Marriage Week is  an Engagement Love Story. To look at marriage from a pre-marriage viewpoint can give us "refreshed eyes" into our own marriages. 

Shalasha

Scott and I have known each other for about 9 years, due to us growing up in the same town as well as having some of the same friends.  However, we have only been dating for almost two years (March 28) and I have to give all the credit to him for making "us" happen.

           I can remember it like yesterday:  I was sitting on my bed,  I opened my facebook page and saw that I had a friend request from Scott.  I was shocked and excited at the same time,  I had not saw or heard anything from him in a couple years. 

Natalie & Scott

           I accepted and as soon as I accepted I received a facebook message...and it went from there.  We messaged each other back and forth for a couple of weeks and then he asked if I could come over and chat in person with him. DUH...OF COURSE...LOL...so I went over and we reconnected like we had not missed a beat out of all of the years we had not talked.

Well, my many dates at his home, eventually flourished into him asking me not to vanish out of his life again for years like before.  As time went on and we started our thing called a relationship, which was so perfect in the beginning, became rocky and when I say rocky I mean rocky. 

 Like I stated earlier, Scott and I have only been seriously dating for right at two years and in these two years, we have had some major trials and tribulations.  There were times I didn't know why we were even together.  But now that I look back at it...GOD knew. 

 Scott tells me all the time that God put me in his life to help him and now I truly see that.  Since we have made it through the storms, Scott sees that “yes” there is a God and all you have to do is give your situation to him and he'll make it all right. 

Scott now has stopped a lot of negative worldly things he use to do. He goes to church faithfully, pays his tithes faithfully, and he has started praying openly to the Lord and he has also committed himself to joining the church that we both attend. 

I have to say that as I'm typing this, tears come to my eyes and roll down my face because I've seen this young man grow in the Lord and become the man that God wants him to be.  

 So when asked what our relationship is built on, its the Father, the one and only Jesus Christ, because without him, "we" would not be and we would not be were we are spiritually in him. 

As our love grew stronger in both each and the Lord, Scott told me that he told God that he now was committed to him, but wanted to be committed to me as well in the right manner (his way). 

  On January 1, 2012 in Fort Lee, VA, as the clock struck 12 midnight Scott and I said “HAPPY NEW YEAR” to each other. Then he dropped down on one knee (in front of my mother, two sisters, my brother-in-law, nephews and niece) and asked me if I would do the honor of marrying him and becoming his wife.  I was so overwhelmed with joy, I did not answer in the beginning (lol) and he stated humbly, “ Well is this a yes?” and I said excitedly “OF COURSE!”.

We are now here at the stage of our lives of planning a wedding and man I tell you I'm already stressed, however I know with God all things are possible; and with work, planning a wedding, enjoying time with family/friends everything will still work its way out and we will have the most AMAZING wedding ever which will be on March 23, 2013. 

 With marriage I know comes a relationship deeper than just boyfriend and girlfriend, in which goals, aspirations, and a commitment to God takes place.  So with this said, Scott and have definitely picked up from when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend to now fiancée’s continuing with our goals. 

 I believe setting goals for a marriage (or really anything) is essential, because I know that after marriage everything will not just be fine.  There will still be moments in which we will want to give up but WE WILL NOT!!!.

Giving up in God's eyesight is not an option.  So simple goals we have set for ourselves is to first realize that we are both individuals and should have goals for ourselves which leads to a bigger goal for "us" whether it be short or long term.   One thing we do already is a monthly calendar that we place on the refrigerator.  Because my schedule is so busy Scott suggested I not only do a calendar for me but for him as well, so he can know what's going on (which has helped out a lot). 

 Another thing that we do is to tell each other we love one another consistently, we show affection (by touching each other) consistently; and we do this because its what makes us happy. Oh, a big thing Scott does that I love is he leaves me love notes around the house and when I get up in the morning that's one of the first things I see. 

We also vowed to go out to eat once a week (and not it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy every time).  But those are just small goals.

 One of our bigger goals after our marriage in March of next year is to start trying for our first child. 

Another goal we have for five years down the road is to build a home.

The biggest goal of them all, which is long term, is to continuously build our relationship on God's foundation.

 To make a long story short, having goals whether they are long or short truly helps a relationship out.  I know making goals has helped our relationship and we will continue to make them so when we are in our 60's or 70's (Lords will) we can look back and say look what the Lord did for us and we did it step by step. 

Just remember God is a God of ORDER!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BLOGGERS!!!!

--

Natalie Gause

National Marriage Week Real Love Stories

Romans 8:28 : And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (KJ)

I was lead to find this wonderful blog: The Purpose for Pain. I was immediately drawn to the writer. Her words but also her story, her life, speaks to me. Through her pain her Love for God still shines.

I am sure that her Love Story will speak to you as well as her Love and Trust in God.

Shalasha

After graduating from college with my nursing degree I headed to a land of great beauty and intense suffering—Uganda East Africa. God called me to serve as a missionary sharing His hope to those with a chronic illness, HIV/AIDS. Little did I know that four years later I'd be battling my own mysterious illness. I joined a doctor and his wife, and I took the position knowing I would most likely serve my term without any other young teammates. This was scary for me as an extrovert used to living with roommates and socializing on a daily basis, but I trusted God would provide the companionship I needed.

The first six months in Uganda were extremely lonely. I remember waking up wanting to vomit because I did not know how I would make it two years in a foreign country, but God gave the grace to press on. Nine months later I found out a young single guy would be joining our team. My teammates teased that he would be my future husband, but upon his arrival his shy and sometimes awkward personality assured me we would only be friends.

As we got to know each other better I began to see a different side of him.  We began talking online, and I learned he was a great communicator and had a love for God’s word.   I was interested in a guy I had met a few months before going overseas, but I was thankful for the new friendship. However, I began to have a change of heart when he volunteered to cook dinner and run errands to help me when I had a volunteer team from the States staying with me. I learned he was considerate and helpful and had a lot of the qualities I wanted in a husband.  

In the past I had dated guys who said they “loved” me, but they did not have the love the Bible speaks of in 1 Corinthians 13 or the love a husband should have for his wife (Ephesians 5:25-28).  Because my heart had been broken in the past I was not interested in dating.  I had been praying that God would bring me a man who would pursue me with intentions and not treat my heart lightly.  I set my standards high because I had given my heart away too easily in the past to guys who were not honorable.  I decided I would rather be single my entire life than settle for a man who was not God’s best for me.

The more I talked with my teammate about God and the Bible I saw that he possessed these standards, not to mention others that I was attracted to.  I also came to see that some of the qualities I had been attracted to in other guys were not important. As I became more attracted to him I prayed for several months that he would pursue me if he was the man God had,

Finally after months of getting to know each other and praying, God confirmed my feelings when my teammate took me aside and told me he loved me and wanted to pursue me in a relationship toward marriage. It was amazing to see God work to bring us together. Soon after he revealed his intentions, I moved back to the States while he stayed in Africa to complete his assignment. Thirteen months of intercontinental romance was difficult to say the least, but God sustained us and we were married only five weeks after my husband returned to the States. 

We spent our first few months of marriage dating since we spent such little time together in person while "courting".  Our promise to love and care for each other in sickness and in health was quickly tested when I began experiencing a rare type of pelvic pain a month before our first wedding anniversary. We were blessed with a little girl during our second year of marriage, but little by little the life we once knew was turned upside down as my physical pain became debilitating. Virtually every aspect of our young marriage, which is now four years old, has been strained. The life of travel and “doing” that we loved so much is no longer possible as the pain often confines me to my home. We live in a town where we never wanted to live and my husband works a job he didn’t plan to work only to come home and have to help care for me, the house and our daughter. Despite seeing some of the best doctors in the country my pain remains, and we do not know if I will regain a better quality of life this side of heaven.

It is easy to feel like our situation is grim, but we know and trust that God in His loving providence is orchestrating the events of our life for His glory and our good, and it's only by His grace that our marriage has endured. Jesus is the flame that keeps our marriage alive, not love, or sex, or common interests, or children, or memories, or even friendship.

So what do you do when the realities of life and marriage come crashing down? How do you ensure a loving, lasting marriage in the midst of chronic illness or intense suffering or just normal everyday life? What do you do when you wake up and you don’t feel like you love your spouse or you hate the life God’s given you?

·       The first step to a loving, lasting marriage is Jesus. We love because God loved us first by sending His Son to die for our sins. (1 John 4:7-11) Do you know Him?

·       Pull hard from your roots (Psalm 1:1-3) and lean on God’s grace and strength, not your feelings. In order to find this strength you must follow Him.

·       Remember your God ordained roles (Ephesians 5:22-33). If a husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church then the wife will gladly submit to her husband and vice versa.

·       Put your trust in God and his sovereignty, not your circumstances. (Romans 8:28-32)

·       Find your joy, satisfaction, and purpose in the Lord and not your spouse. It is inevitable—our spouses will frustrate us, but God will never disappoint us.

·       Remember the purpose of marriage—to be a living testimony of Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:31-32)—and keep this primary.

Marriage is a gift, but it’s temporary. We are not promised an easy marriage full of the blessings of intimacy, children, dreams, and friendship. It is not ultimately designed for our enjoyment or for procreation. God designed marriage from the beginning to be a picture of Jesus Christ and His covenant with the Church, those who have trusted Jesus for their salvation, which He purchased through his death and resurrection.

While our current situation is not what I would have ever dreamed would happen when my husband and I married, I trust that this is God's perfect plan for us and that our suffering allows us the opportunity to glorify God more than if life had followed our plan. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband who is extremely patient, caring, and understanding. He tells me again and again that he would still marry me had he known the suffering our marriage would endure. Our prayer is that the world would see that nothing can sustain us or our marriage but Christ.

Read more from the author as she strives to trust God daily at “The Purpose of Pain” . She can also be found on twitter or on her Facebook page . 

National Marriage Week Real Love Stories

         Love Stories, each married couple has one.  Love Grows.  I often find myself even before I began my blog, asking my friends how they meet their spouse. I find it intriguing the varying ways people find their spouse. Most stories if not all can be tied to fate, no not fate, but God.

         My relationship began with a prayer before we even met. A prayer that I would find my soul mate, helpmate, and life mate. My husband is not perfect but I truly believe that God made him just for me. I met my husband right when I needed him the most, in high school. That may seem weird but true. We needed one another.

         From high school sweet hearts to a relationship that has lasted 11 and a half years. We have been married for 4 and a half years, we have already been through so many obstacles but we are still in Love, happy, and continuing to help one another.

            Over the next three days I will share with you three Love Stories. Each a little different but demonstrates that Love Grows.

Our 1^st Love Story is similar to my own and maybe yours too in that it is a High School Sweet Heart Love Story.

            Tell us about your Love Story.

 My Husband and I started dating October 27, 2001. I began working at Burger Shack where he also worked. I started working there in August and by October he had worked up enough of courage to ask me out.  Our Journey led us to marriage on February 12, 2005.  My husband decided to join the Air Force. He left for basic training in August 2005. We were stationed in Texas and in January 2006 we were stationed in NC back close to our families.  Being in the military can be stressful upon a marriage due to the long hours, being away from your family, and just the day-to-day life of being in the military. However, we always focused on the positives and just enjoying the time that we could spend together. Then in October 2007 we welcomed our son Aden into the world.  He is a great mix of the two of us and is our world! Military marriages have a 3.7% divorce rate but today  (2/12/12) we are celebrating our 7^th wedding Anniversary!

High School Sweethearts

Wedding Day 

Family Addition : Aden

Bobbie Jo and Brett

 What do you feel is the most important element of keeping your Marriage “Loving”?

 My hubby is my best friend and when you find that in your significant other then the love just comes along with itJ

How do you and your husband handle disagreements?

We have come to the realization that what the other is saying is important. We listen to each other’s point of view and meet in the middle. Like with any relationship even getting ill at the other is normal from time to time but by the end of the night we kiss goodnight no matter what!

 How do you and your husband make time for one another?

We both love to cook so we always enjoy cooking and grilling together almost every day!

 What do you feel are important characteristics or traits of a “Lasting Loving Marriage”.

• Always being there for the other NO matter What!
• Always be sure to let your s/o know how much you care. Sometimes just "I Love you" still gives you  butterflies but also gives you that reassurance that you need!

Have you and your husband faced a problem? If so how did you overcome it?

We all face some type problem in marriage whether it is big or small. We have never faced any huge problems though just the small ones thank goodness. We always try to compromise and understand each other in every situation. Our viewpoint is that we were all made different so we are entitled to our independent opinions and differences but we have to meet in the middle!

What advice do you think would have helped you have a smoother marriage that you can pass to others?

When you find the one you Love you will know. There is no perfect relationship but there is a great love for each of us. A lasting loving marriage is very real! Always try to understand one another and always let your spouse know what is going on from your perspective. If there’s a doubt or something you are feeling down or out about let them know.  When you communicate with one another you will be able to work through your issues. My hubby says “I Don’t know how to make you feel better, what to change, or how to make you or things better if you don’t let me know.”  Effectively communicating has been an important element in our Loving Lasting Marriage; always let your spouse know!

I hope that you have been able to use National Marriage Week as a time to enhance your marriage . I plan to highlight two additional Love Stories this week with varying elements. I hope you are able to gain something useful from each of these stories.


Please continue to share these posts with others as well as contribute your own elements for a Loving Lasting Marriage. 

Shalasha