This post is directed to answer two thoughtful questions
asked by blog followers. I enjoy your comments and your opinions. I hope you
all continue to read and share!
How
do you KNOW that you should marry someone? I feel that there are many factors you should consider
before you decide that marriage with someone is the correct choice.
1. Emotional Reasons: Are you marrying to fill a void? Are you marrying to beat the clock?
Are you marrying because it’s the “right” thing to do? There are many emotional
reasons people marry and they are all the wrong reasons!
In my opinion,
I feel that YOU should address your emotional issues before marriage. Marriage will
only be a crutch and unhappiness will creep up again. Marry for Love not to
fill voids.
2. Lust
or Love: Are you marrying someone due to chemistry or deeper reasons? I
agree that chemistry is important but Love grows with character and respect. When you are considering a person to
Marry think to yourself:
·
Are there characteristics of this person that I would like to have?
·
Is this person kind to others?
·
Is this person dependable and trustworthy?
·
Does this person have a happy outlook on life?
·
Would I want my child to turn out like this person?
3. Goals
and Priorities: When marrying someone you should have common goals and priorities.
You should be on a common path. For example, if you want children and the other person does
not, this can be a huge roadblock in your relationship. Before you marry you
should have an in-depth discussion of general goals and priorities. If there
are differences then a discussion should take place to determine if you and/or
your partner are willing to make compromises.
4. Abusive
Behaviors: Many relationships
end due to some type of abuse. Before your Marriage you should be aware of any
type of behaviors that may lead to future abuse. Abuse can range from emotional,
verbal, or physical abuse. Many people confuse “control” with Love. Is the person giving you advice or “telling”
you what to do for their benefit?
5. Unknown Circumstances: Do you have
your future spouse have any skeletons in your closet? This can range from health issues,
family issues, or financial issues. Have a conversation where you and your
future spouse lay out all your cards on the table. You will be surprised to
know how many people say if I knew X, Y, or Z I would have had different thoughts
on marriage to that person.
How long
should you date before you marry ?
This is a very great question because I feel that this
ranges from couple to couple. My husband and I dated for 7 years before we
married but that was due to our young age when we started dating. In addition,
we also decided to wait until we graduated college before marriage.
I feel that your relationship should have time to
mature from the “puppy dog” stage into a “mature love” stage. In addition, I feel that you and your
future spouse should experience a miscommunication or disagreement and have a
positive resolution to this issue. If you have great communication with your partner and are
able to effectively compromise I feel that you will be able to handle future
miscommunications.
In my opinion, at least a full year is needed to
grow your love from the “puppy dog” stage into a “mature love” stage. The act of “getting married” is fun and
exciting. However, Marriage is a labor of
love. Nothing worth having is
easy.
I didn’t begin this blog to be exclusive about God
and our Marriages but that is what is tugging at my heart the most. In the Love Story Post, Follower Ashley
states that her Love Story began when she returned to God.
How amazing it is that God has our Love Stories
already written for us?
Sometimes we choose the mate that we want
and not the mate that we need.
Sometimes we decide and not follow.
Sometimes we are arrogant and not humble.
Pray together and Seek God together if you are
seeking your Loving Lasting Marriage.
Shalasha
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