I have decided to focus on the topic of communication this
week. I am sure that each of us
has faced a time in our relationship and/or marriage that communication has
been an issue.
Effective Communication is a key to " A Loving Lasting Marriage". In a healthy functioning relationship,
especially marriage communication is important to both spouses. When we are able to effectively communicate with our
spouse we are able to not only talk but also listen.
One great communication tip I have learned is very simple. By repeating what you hear, you validate to the person that what they said was heard. This allows you to think about what was said as well as allows the person to feel that you are truly listening. Another great tip that I have also learned is to not assume anything. Do not assume that what you want is known. Explain what you need in a clear and easy manner. For example, instead of stating " I need more support." You could say : " I would love for you to support me in __ by doing ____and ____."
Many forget that communication is a multiple part process.
Listening to and accommodating the needs
requested is a major part of communication. For example, imagine yourself at a
drive thru. You order your meal and then drive up to the window. When you get
to the window, a person with a puzzled look greets you with an empty bag. How
would you feel and how would you handle this situation? Later this week we will
address how to properly handle miscommunications. Please feel free to e-mail or
message me with techniques you and your spouse use to avoid conflicts.
In our quest to understand how to communicate better with our spouse, lets first understand why communication is a hard task. Did
you know that is a scientific fact that women and men communicate differently?
I have read this several times including in various literatures about raising
boys.
Here is an article that goes into more details about the
difference in men and women’s communication styles. This article is by Dr. Susan
Sherwood. Gender Gap
I will have to admit that I am guilty of number 2 of the
list, something I will have to work on! Improving your whole communication
process at one time is a huge challenge, but focusing on one small issue is
doable. Which communication issue in the article can you relate to the most? Take small steps to improve in that area
with your spouse.
Stayed tuned this week as we further discuss Communication and I
will be issuing a “ Communication Challenge”!
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clicking on the “join in” link. If you have a perspective, experience, or just
an opinion, please share. You can contact me at Shalasha_sun@yahoo.com ! Thank you for
your support!
Shalasha
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