Monday, January 9, 2012


I have decided to focus on the topic of communication this week.  I am sure that each of us has faced a time in our relationship and/or marriage that communication has been an issue.

Effective Communication is a key to " A Loving Lasting Marriage". In a healthy functioning relationship, especially marriage communication is important to both spouses. When we are able to effectively communicate with our spouse we are able to not only talk but also listen. 

One great communication tip I have learned is very simple. By repeating what you hear, you validate to the person that what they said was heard. This allows you to think about what was said as well as allows the person to feel that you are truly listening. Another great tip that I have also learned is to not assume anything. Do not assume that what you want is known. Explain what you need in a clear and easy manner. For example, instead of stating " I need more support." You could say : " I would love for you to support me in __ by doing ____and ____."

Many forget that communication is a multiple part process. Listening to and accommodating the needs requested is a major part of communication. For example, imagine yourself at a drive thru. You order your meal and then drive up to the window. When you get to the window, a person with a puzzled look greets you with an empty bag. How would you feel and how would you handle this situation? Later this week we will address how to properly handle miscommunications. Please feel free to e-mail or message me with techniques you and your spouse use to avoid conflicts.

In our quest to understand how to communicate better with our spouse, lets first understand why communication is a hard task. Did you know that is a scientific fact that women and men communicate differently? I have read this several times including in various literatures about raising boys.

Here is an article that goes into more details about the difference in men and women’s communication styles. This article is by Dr. Susan Sherwood.  Gender Gap

I will have to admit that I am guilty of number 2 of the list, something I will have to work on! Improving your whole communication process at one time is a huge challenge, but focusing on one small issue is doable. Which communication issue in the article can you relate to the most?  Take small steps to improve in that area with your spouse.

Stayed tuned this week as we further discuss Communication and I will be issuing a “ Communication Challenge”!

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