Friday, January 13, 2012
Each relationship has valleys and peaks. Hopefully your marriage has more days of peaks, but it would be unrealistic to say no relationship has its valleys.
One major valley that marriage can face is miscommunication, or arguments. These miscommunications can be as small as dividing responsibilities to as large as how to raise your children. Many of these types of arguments should be discussed before marriage, however views change as situations change therefore leading to disagreements.
Have you ever raised your voice, said something you regretted, or even did something you regretted when you were angry? Learning how to handle miscommunications can diminish these actions. How we handle those times we are not on one accord can be a time when our relationship with our spouse weakens or becomes stronger.
What is the main reason an argument occurs regardless of the topic? Defensiveness or in other words: “ My way is the best way!” Before your conversation escalates into an argument, let down your defensive attitude and open up to your spouse’s point of view.
This article provides seven tips to avoid conflict in our Marriage: Marriage Counseling Tips - 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage by Lee Hefner.
When we are in an upset/angry/defensive mood we cannot communicative in a positive manner. Of course overcoming negative ways that miscommunication takes both spouses to take action. You and your spouse should have a discussion about your communication weakness and strengthens. Discuss the ways in which you feel you can communicate in a positive manner and allow your spouse to do the same. Agree to listen, agree to compromise, and most importantly agree to follow through!
We are human and we will all have some arguments whether big or small during our marriage. However admitting our wrongs and in turn forgiving our spouse can help us avoid resentment and future argument.
I’m Sorry / I Forgive You Challenge
We all have times when we do not want to listen but want to be heard. Times which we say things in haste that we do not truly mean. We all have times when saying “I’m Sorry” is not an easy task.
The problem I personally face is delaying saying I’m sorry until “I am ready” and not when my husband is ready. It would be easier to say I’m sorry and get the situation behind us but I decide to continue the tension by holding that sorry in.
Then there are those situations when you may say that you forgive but you continue to hold a grudge. This in turn affects your day, week, or even your year.
How much easier it would be if we said and meant both “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”?
I challenge you and myself to take the “ I’m Sorry/I Forgive You” Challenge.
When you know you have said or done something that is hurtful or upsetting to your spouse, say & mean: I’m Sorry.
When your spouse has said or done something to you, say and mean: I forgive you .
Here are some scriptures that guide us on Communication and Conflicts:
· Ecclesiastes 5:2
· 1 Corinthians 13:5
· 1 Peter 2: 11
· 1 Theesssalonians 5:11
· Hebrews 10:24-25
· Proverbs 6:2-5
· James 4:1-2
· Proverbs 12:13-14
· Proverbs 15:4
· Proverbs 17:14
· Proverbs 29:11
I hope that you and your spouse are able to improve your communication and decrease miscommunications. Remember that marriage is a Labor of Love. Most importantly Pray together and seek God together if you are seeking your “Loving Lasting Marriage”. Please share this blog by clicking on the facebook or twitter link at the bottom of this post. Become a follower by clicking on the “join in” link. If you have a perspective, experience, or just an opinion, please share. You can contact me at Shalasha_sun@yahoo.com ! Thank you for your support!