Each relationship has valleys and
peaks. Hopefully your marriage has more days of peaks, but it would be
unrealistic to say no relationship has its valleys.
One major valley that marriage can
face is miscommunication, or arguments. These miscommunications can be as small
as dividing responsibilities to as large as how to raise your children. Many of
these types of arguments should be discussed before marriage, however views
change as situations change therefore leading to disagreements.
Have you ever raised your voice,
said something you regretted, or even did something you regretted when you were
angry? Learning how to handle miscommunications can diminish these actions. How
we handle those times we are not on one accord can be a time when our
relationship with our spouse weakens
or becomes stronger.
What is the main reason an argument
occurs regardless of the topic? Defensiveness or in other words: “ My way is
the best way!” Before your conversation escalates into an argument, let down
your defensive attitude and open up to your spouse’s point of view.
This article
provides seven tips to avoid conflict in our Marriage: Marriage Counseling Tips - 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage by Lee Hefner.
When we are in an upset/angry/defensive
mood we cannot communicative in a positive manner. Of course overcoming
negative ways that miscommunication takes both spouses to take action. You and
your spouse should have a discussion about your communication weakness and
strengthens. Discuss the ways in which you feel you can communicate in a
positive manner and allow your spouse to do the same. Agree to listen, agree to
compromise, and most importantly agree to follow through!
We are human and we will all have
some arguments whether big or small during our marriage. However admitting our wrongs and in turn
forgiving our spouse can help us avoid resentment and future argument.
I’m Sorry / I Forgive You Challenge
We all have times when we do not
want to listen but want to be heard. Times which we say things in haste that we
do not truly mean. We all have times when saying “I’m Sorry” is not an easy
task.
The problem I personally face is
delaying saying I’m sorry until “I am ready” and not when my husband is ready.
It would be easier to say I’m sorry and get the situation behind us but I
decide to continue the tension by holding that sorry in.
Then there are those situations
when you may say that you forgive but you continue to hold a grudge. This in
turn affects your day, week, or even your year.
How much easier it would be if we
said and meant both “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”?
I challenge you and myself to take
the “ I’m Sorry/I Forgive You”
Challenge.
When you know you have said or done
something that is hurtful or upsetting to your spouse, say & mean: I’m Sorry.
When your spouse has said or done something to you, say and mean:
I forgive you .
Here
are some scriptures that guide us on Communication and Conflicts:
·
Ecclesiastes
5:2
·
1
Corinthians 13:5
·
1 Peter 2:
11
·
1 Theesssalonians
5:11
·
Hebrews
10:24-25
·
Proverbs
6:2-5
·
James
4:1-2
·
Proverbs
12:13-14
·
Proverbs
15:4
·
Proverbs
17:14
·
Proverbs
29:11
I hope that you and your spouse are able to
improve your communication and decrease miscommunications. Remember that
marriage is a Labor of Love. Most importantly Pray together and seek God
together if you are seeking your “Loving Lasting Marriage”. Please share this blog by clicking on
the facebook or twitter link at the bottom of this post. Become a follower by
clicking on the “join in” link. If you have a perspective, experience, or just
an opinion, please share. You can contact me at Shalasha_sun@yahoo.com ! Thank you for
your support!
Shalasha
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